Countdown is really on.

It is Day Two. To be exact, 26 days to go before I start the Lemtrada treatment. The post I shared yesterday was Day One, in case you missed it. 

I am not worried about the treatment itself. I'm worried about the side effects. I'm concerned the days after are going to be the hardest. I can't worry about the treatment, as it's out of my control. I don't know how my body is going to react to this, but I can control how it feels before hand. 

This morning I woke up with the most energy I have had in months. Unfortunately, this new found energy didn't go into exercise, but went in to work. Not such a bad thing. But the new healthy life style didn't really get a look in today -  oops. Maybe dinner time. I have managed to get some steps in. Although it wasn't through walking, just the usual dancing around the living room to an upbeat playlist which gets my day (and my brain) going. A bit of 90s dance going in the background as I write this. A little bit of C&C Music Factory for all those 90s lovers...

Being in control and knowing what will happen next is something I am sure most people can relate to. I am one of those planners. I like to know what's happening, and like to be able to plan ahead. Letting things "happen" is not something I like. Although I like the idea of letting it all happen, if I had to actually do it, I would probably fall apart. I'm an organiser, a planner. And not knowing how I am going to be affected by this medication is messing with my inner control freak. I don't like it. But I can't control it. What I can control is how I react to it mentally and be able to do as much as I can to avoid getting sick before and afterwards. The reaction to the drug is going to have to go with the flow... my inner control freak just screamed in agony with me admitting this!  

I watched a #Melrobbins clip yesterday about being able to solve problems. This also goes towards the ideas of control. Change what you can, and don't stress about the ones you can't.  Wise words, but who listens to wise words? I'm trying to. I really am. But when things go to custard, how often to we remind ourselves of these wise words. Whether by Mel or the Dalai Lama. Can I get you all to remind me of these when I'm suffering from the steroid crash and lack of energy levels? Say wise words and I'll probably throw something at you. Ha! 

I can be prepared for the days of infusion. This isn't an issue. I can have things to do, food, water, my beloved Precious (the iPad) and books. It will be like my own little holiday, without the sun, sand and sea. I am currently trying to teach myself how to crochet! Trying, being the operative word in that sentence. Something additional to do when I'm sitting for hours on end in the ward at the hospital. Oh the control! I may even take my work laptop with me. 

Luckily, I won't be alone in the ward, as other M.S. patients will be getting the same treatment as me in the same week.  We will all be in the same boat. At least we can share stories and experiences. Having people who have been through this is an absolute life line, however. Knowing what they have gone through definitely helps. Even the advice they have shared on what to take in and what the process is a godsend. The nurses haven't been as generous sharers on this. But they have a lot of patients to look after, so I'm guessing this isn't a priority.